I'm the boss of me

I love hearing kids playing together and getting into hilarious (and often maddening) arguments. Inevitably, the phrase “You're not the boss of me!” gets blurted out a time or two and it always makes me chuckle. 

You’re not the boss of me. In the case of the kiddos, that’s probably very true. It gets a little more complicated in different contexts, like school and work. Or... does it? Is it unreasonable to say “You’re not the boss of me!” as an adult, even if we have someone who is officially our boss?

Maybe what can lead us to a perspective shift is when we figure out what’s on the other side of that statement. If “you’re not the boss of me,” then who is? Oh. Wait. That’s me! I’m the boss of me. Which means I am responsible for me. I have to take personal responsibility for the goals I don’t achieve, for the ways I’m unhappy and restless. I have to take ownership of choices I’ve made that have not been in my best interest. 

The big idea is that we all have agency. We have the power to take ownership of our lives and change things for the better. Not everyone can move to another city, but everyone can move the needle a little when it comes to practicing what my husband calls Catalytic Disciplines. Not everyone can change jobs, but everyone can change mindsets. 

The question is, how good of a boss do you want to be to yourself? You have the power to decide exactly what kind of boss you’ll be. I hope you decide to be encouraging, kind, inspiring and motivating. I hope you reward what you want to see repeated. I hope you challenge yourself to keep becoming. I hope you give pep talks, raises, and vacation days. I hope you are the kind of boss other people want to work for. Because if you are, you’ll be the kind of person other people want to have around.