Thoughts from the other side
Something kind of lame and unnecessary happened to my husband a while back and, among other things, it inspired a host of journal entries. I have since read through the torrent of emotion that found its way to my paper and have been able to sift out quite a lot of rubbish. There's enough principle in that to stop this post already and just chew on the value of shutting up and giving yourself and everyone else some space. But I'm not finished. After the dust- and my heart- settled, I made a few observations. So here are my thoughts from the other side of it, in bullet point form...
1. It's funny that you suddenly figure out how to turn off the metaphorical fan once you're covered in... ahem... excrement, but not a moment before.
2. When covered in excrement, the fact that it might be very purposeful and intentional doesn't change the situation at hand; you're still covered in excrement.
3. Sometimes you have to feel what needs to be felt- preferably alone with God or with one very trustworthy and honest friend- and pray for God to physically restrain you from doing all the semi-psychotic, selfish, anger-driven things that you want to do. Sometimes you have to pray that He replaces those things with grace. It's the epitome of taking thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. And it's hard.
4. There are all these people you and I look up to and respect; people who, if we got really transparent for a moment, we want to notice us and approve of what they see. But what if these people are—GASP—human? What if they aren't perfect? Or worse, what if they finally take notice of us and aren't impressed in the least? The issue is not that they don't approve. The issue is that we give them a microphone to our souls, and sometimes they never even asked for it.
5. There are also people who try to speak things about you, your worth, and your abilities without truly knowing you. Those people? Yeah... don't listen. No matter how loud.
6. The Church does a lot of things right. But we are the worst at killing our wounded. We're really, really bad at care on the whole, which is truly mind-boggling, what with Jesus going around showing us what care is and then telling us that this is what life is about. He was always saying "Come as you are," and we would like to think we do the same, but I fear we sound more like, "Come as you are... except you..."
7. I am guilty. I think maybe that was part of the anger I worked through. I realized I have been joining in with this nonsense, with things that look nothing like Christ. I'm ready to be done. I'm ready for the purity of "Come as you are."
Talk to me...
Do you relate to any of these?
Are you guilty, too?